The Total Human

Allyson Rice’s TheTotal Human ™ and
Malcolm Ringwalt’s Earth-Heart Institute of Vision and Healing

Vision Quests, Spiritual Retreats, Women's Retreats, Kundalini Yoga & Meditation,
Creativity Retreats, Personal Intensives

January 2008

Welcome to the quarterly newsletter collaboration between The Total Human™ and the Earth-Heart Institute of Vision and Healing. Collectively, we offer Vision Quests, Spiritual Retreats, Women's Retreats, Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, Creativity Retreats, Personal Intensives, Healing, and Spiritual Counseling. If you are not interested in receiving these newsletters once each season, you can click on the “unsubscribe” button at the bottom of the page. Click on our names (above) to visit our complete websites.


When you come to the end of all the light you know,
and it’s time to step into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen:
Either you will be given something solid to stand on
or you will be taught to fly.
-Edward Teller-

We often get questions emailed to us, so we have decided that on occasion, we will share a few of them in this column, since many people have the same questions and will benefit from the answers. Please feel free to email us with a question if you have one. If you are struggling with an issue, you can be sure that someone else out there is too and will benefit from the discussion.

QUESTION: I’ve been doing some powerful transformational work lately, but “daily life” things have started going wrong and have seemed to stay that way. It's like my life situation has fallen down on me like an avalanche. I think in the past I've just buried the discomfort, waited a few days, maybe made a few minor changes and carried on. This time something's shifted, and that kind of approach isn't going to cut it. I've been quite depressed, just feeling everything very strongly, and kind of fragile. Some of the things I need to change are just structural (like work set-up) and I'm looking into changing those, but there's more that needs to happen and I don't know what that is, and I haven't been able to figure it out on my own. Can you help?

When we do transformational work, we begin to shift internally; and as a result, our relationship to everything in our life will begin to shift as well. There’s no way around that. Some shifts will happen easily, and some will be a little more difficult to navigate as we re-align.

As you get closer to the authentic you, parts of your life as you’ve been living it may no longer serve you, and you may begin to notice things falling away which can be disconcerting. Sometimes this shifting process requires action on your part, but it’s also important to understand that sometimes it requires “no action”. Although it’s not the most comfortable choice, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do in those times of great shifting and discomfort, is NOT to try and figure out what it "means", or what to "do" with it, or how to "work" with it. No one actually wants to hear this as an answer, because it seems (deceptively so) like a non-answer. It's not. It’s essential.

Sit as still as you can in the UNKNOWING right now, for as long as you can. Allow yourself to feel the discomfort of the shifting and just be okay with it for the moment. You will feel the old things that have been buried inside as they get knocked loose, shift, and move up and out. You don't always have to know what they "mean," or what it's all about, even though your intellect is saying that you do. Just know that old things are leaving, and you're feeling them as they go. That's all for now. Just try not to grab hold of the feelings as they leave and “re-attach” yourself to them. Feel them and let them move on their way. It’s a clearing process.

Some of the depression you mentioned may just be old residue coming up and out, and some of it may be related to expectations about your life on some level. Try to tap into the faith that the Universe is providing exactly what you need, in the time frame and in the way-of-unfolding that best needs to happen; and remember that often (usually) we can't see the Bigger Picture while we’re in the middle of all the shifting. Try to put your faith in the awareness that there IS a bigger picture rather than merely the small view of how your current, painful situation seems to appear. We all say we believe in the bigger picture, but sometimes we find that that's not completely true on a deeper level within us when we’re tested. We find a shadowy inner corner where the "yeah, yeah, bigger picture my $#@!" part of us is living... That's when we know that part of what we’re experiencing is about expectations and control issues...

Sit still in the process, bring your awareness to it, feel what you feel, and don't attach yourself to any "story" about what it all means. That part is very important because you don't fully know right now what the truth of it is beyond your head's story.... Know that you're in a gestation process on the way to birthing a fuller, more expanded life, birthing your Greater Vision. You are at a powerful shifting point in it right now.

Remember that when a woman is gestating a baby, she doesn't have to work at it, she doesn't have to intellectually figure out what to do to create the next part of the baby within her. The bigger process was set in motion already and she’s part of the flow of it. She just has to remember to rest and take care of herself, and try to deal as best she can with the severe mood swings and morning sickness that rear their head on some days.... and to remember that the birthing process is not a painless process, but it does end, and there's a new life at the end of it all. The same is true for you as you birth your new and expanded Self. The bigger process was set in motion when you stepped onto the path of transformation, and sometimes you’ll have “mood swings and morning sickness.” It’s all part of the process...

Interestingly, in yoga, corpse pose -- lying on your back doing absolutely nothing but opening up and relaxing as deeply as you possibly can into just being there -- is the hardest yoga position there is to master... Very few people are able to relax and open into the present moment in a deep way. Do corpse pose (both physically and metaphorically speaking) in this difficult shifting time right now. Sit in the unknowing, open to it as fully as you can, and be okay with not “knowing” at the moment, and know that in it's own time things will shift again, and you will find that suddenly the wisdom and healing and comfort in your new skin has arrived without having had to “figure it out.” Be still and open and follow the flow without judging your experience. It’s all good…

QUESTION: I’ve been curious about doing a women’s retreat. I’ve never done one before, and this feeling in me is pushing me to try it. But I’m also a little apprehensive because I’ve not had good experiences around other women while growing up – there’s always so much cattiness it seems. I have a few good women friends but for the most part, guys are just easier to be around, so I’m afraid I’ll feel out of place at one. Any thoughts?

You’re certainly not alone in your feelings or your past experiences.
And while I can’t speak about all women’s retreats, I can tell you about the focus of the one I run. In ancient cultures, it was understood that connection from heart-to-heart was the natural way-of-being for women. It was understood that women, being intuitive and compassionate, naturally came together in friendship in a loving and supportive way. It was about community in the best sense of the word. Unfortunately, that’s just not what we’re taught in this culture. Many of us learned at a young age that meanness, cattiness, competition over the boys/men, and harshly judgmental behavior towards one another was the name of the game. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

At this women’s retreat, we connect with other women from that ancient, heart-centered place. It is an incredibly supportive, wildly fun, deeply healing retreat. Some of the women there have had good experiences with mothers and sisters and female friends, and bring that energy with them, but many have had the same experiences that you have mentioned. You may feel a little nervous until a few minutes into the first gathering, but after that you will start to feel what you’ve been missing not having had a supportive female community. You will have a great time (the amount of laughter shared by the end of the retreat is at times ridiculous), and you will leave with a network of wonderful women to keep in touch with. Lasting friendships, from a place of support, power, and ancient wisdom are made here.

My suggestion is that if you have a little voice in you that’s telling you “it’s time,” then trust that it’s time, even if you’re nervous, and make the leap and see what it’s all about. It’s truly a life-changing experience to shift into a new/ancient way of experiencing female community. It’s SO much more than what we’ve been taught. And I guarantee that your husband/partner/kids/friends… and you… will benefit from the deep shift that happens within.

*To all of you, we wish you a wonderful and transformational year where you learn to love the questions you have, even before you get the answers to them….

Many Blessings

…. Allyson

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
--Eugene Ionesco-



Here are some great companies for summer entertainment.
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Join the Spiritual Cinema Circle, and have inspiring, uplifting movies delivered to your door. Click here for details.

Journey to The Wild Divine: biofeedback, breathing, and meditation skills. Build stairways with your breath, open doors with meditation, juggle balls with your laughter, and so much more. The Journey makes biofeedback, a popular method of alternative healthcare, easily accessible and empowers you to take mind-body wellness, literally, into your own hands.


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Please note that the 100-person Vision Quest in the Pine Barrens of NJ has been postponed to the summer of 2009 due to logistical conflicts for the larger program. However, we will still be running the regular annual NJ Vision Quest on the same dates: July 26-Aug 2, 2008.

Check out, a website with the handmade jewelry that Allyson makes and works with in ceremony and prayer. Each piece is one-of-a-kind, is a powerful healing object, and each comes with a unique name and description. "Spiritual Bling™” Allyson utilizes her work as an energy healer to implant specific healing intent for the wearer of the piece. New pieces have been recently added. Email Allyson if you’d like to be on the notification list of the first people to hear when a batch of new pieces is uploaded.


Click on the underlined links below to read about a particular class, or go to The Total Human™ Programs or Earth-Heart Programs to read about other classes not listed here, and TTH Student Comments or E-H Student Comments to read comments from past participants.

A weekend retreat in the Los Angeles area! Allyson’s Your Wild Creative Soul : Free Your Mind and the Rest Will Follow (yes, I’m talking to you) will be running the weekend of Feb 29-Mar 2 (starting on a lucky Leap Year day!), at the 10-acre Holy Spirit Retreat Center in Encino. This class will help move the stuck places in your life. Yoga, meditation, mask-making, mandalas, LifeMap collage, writing, finger painting, and more. Connect with your deeply creative nature in this very fun, wonderfully relaxing, soul-nourishing time. “I'm still amazed at how much moved in those few days...” “Really wonderful -- so fun and so deceptively deepening and inspiring” “The best class for me so far. I hope and pray to be able to make this an annual event in my life from now on. I would even go so far as to "recommend" it as a pre-requisite for any or all of your other classes.” (Extra days can also be individually scheduled with the retreat center if you’d like a longer personal retreat time, during which you can schedule an energy healing session with Allyson or counseling with Malcolm).

Dates for Malcolm’s The Sacred Heart of Darkness class have been set for March 23-27 in Malibu, CA. As you move into sacred darkness, and confront your distractions, you find the true spiritual core of your Beingness. This is the only time this class will run until mid 2009.

Malcolm’s Personal Intensive dates between now and April have been opened. This is the time of the year when most of the Intensives are scheduled as other programs fill the other months, and time is harder to come by. Call soon - dates fill up very quickly.

Allyson's Sedona Women’s Retreat “Reconnecting With the Power of the Sacred Feminine” is running April 23-27, 2008 at Angel Valley Retreat Center! Come and spend 5 days in an extraordinary setting with a group of women as amazing as you. Ancient women's power teachings, plus much, much more. You will LOVE this week. Extended payment plan available for this and other programs. Call to inquire.

Malcolm is now accepting a limited number of students for his long-distance, one-on-one Mentoring program . 6-month minimum commitment required. Call or email for details.

Malcolm’s next Vision Quest is scheduled for May 17-24 in southern Oregon near Ashland. See website for additional dates and locations.

And, for the first time ever, Malcolm’s 7 Levels of Quest program will be open to anyone, even if you have not done a Vision Quest. This may be the ONLY time it is ever run without a Vision Quest prerequisite!! So if you are not interested in doing the 4–day Quest, but have wanted to learn the extraordinary teachings in this class and how to apply them in daily life, this may be your only chance to experience them. It will run July 24-Aug 2, simultaneously with the NJ Vision Quest.


We want to support organizations out there who are working for the uplifting of humanity. If you know of websites that are doing really good work in the world, email them to us for possible inclusion in a future newsletter. We’d like to help get the word out.
An online artistic community created to provide small loans to talented women artists in developing countries. These micro-loans allow women to set up shop and create their own sustainable, arts- and crafts-based businesses. Nest raises these funds through the sale of clothing, accessories and home merchandise created by successful artists and designers, which are available on the Nest website.
A website devoted to letting you know which companies, charities and investments are cruelty-free (no animal testing is done). You can get a list here of companies that have banned this practice, so that you can support them with your business.

Many blessings to you all,




All images and content © 2006 The Total Human™, All rights reserved.